Tag: stopdivorce

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Dangerous Distractions

Tommy Larson

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on His law he meditates day and night.”

Psalm 1:1–2 (ESV)

Were you shocked when your spouse left? Were you left bewildered and dumbfounded after hearing your spouse say they didn’t love you anymore and wanted out of the marriage? If you were like me, I had literally no idea of the precarious condition my marriage was in until the day it suddenly fell apart. To say I was blindsided, was an understatement. 

Had I been in God’s will and applying Biblical discernment to the spheres of my life that needed it most, I would likely have been more aware of the imminent danger. Unfortunately, due to my pride and arrogance, I had allowed blinders to blur my focus. This prevented me from seeing the warning signs all around. Unfortunately, my personal experience is not unique. So many we hear from have admitted to dropping the ball and not prioritizing the spiritual health of themselves or their family. Coming to this realization usually arrives only after the destruction of the marriage is well underway. But it doesn’t have to be like this.

When we allow ourselves to be consumed with “non-kingdom” influences and place the investment in our relationship with Christ on the back-burner, we play a risky game. In this day and age, the traps and snares of the devil are everywhere. Men, do you spend countless hours watching TV or checking your phones for the latest news on your favorite sports team? Are you wasting your time binge watching Netflix for hours on end? Or how about filling your head with garbage content from TikTok that you’d be ashamed to view in the presence of children? Ladies, are you constantly checking your Facebook and Instagram feeds? Is your emotional mood determined by the number of likes, comments, and reposts? If so, you are in way too deep.

Truth be told, these distractions and social obsessions have done more to erode the spiritual condition of our hearts than we ever thought possible. Our preoccupation with the digital world, social media, and 24/7 access to entertainment has left us spiritually empty and hollow. Our saturated minds have become void of the very knowledge that should prevent our hearts from growing cold, calloused and incapable of discerning the voice of the Holy Spirit.

I’m not laying blame solely at the feet of the social media giants or the entertainment and sports industries. These distractions and obsessions only cause damage because we allow them to. We purposely consume and willingly participate in activities that have become addictions. It’s a safe bet that a majority of us would lose sleep over being denied access to social media accounts, but wouldn’t bat an eye if we lost or misplaced our Bibles. These days, Christians constantly sacrifice the things of God for temporal pleasure and worldly desires. Over the course of a lifetime, these departures from the faith will take their toll.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

I John 2:15-17

When we know who is “trending” on Twitter, or are aware of the latest The Voice contestant to just be eliminated, but can’t remember anything about what we heard in church last Sunday, then our priorities are out of alignment. And therein lies the hidden danger. The enemy keeps us from protecting our homes and families by distracting us with a continuous onslaught of trivial pursuits. It’s a proven strategy.

Our investment in culture, instead of the Word of God, and a pursuit of righteousness, has left many of us ignorant and unprepared to face spiritual battles that come our way. As followers of Christ, it comes down to obedience, and we all need to submit. 

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.”

Colossians 3:1-3

Before you find yourself in the midst of a marriage crisis, take time to evaluate your own life, and ask if the investments currently being made strengthen the marriage bond or cause it to become weaker. If it’s the latter, then change course while you still have the chance. To delay is foolishness, and a move that will only lead to regret.

In Christ,

Tommy Larson

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I Can’t Go On

Tommy Larson

Have you come to the point in your stand where you have uttered the words “I can’t go on”? If so, you are not alone. Pressing on when the weight of the world and stressors of this life have taken their toll both physically and emotionally is so very difficult. For those who suffer through the added burden of separation and divorce, the suffering can be immeasurable. But lest you think giving up is the answer, consider the following message of hope.

Before David fulfilled his destiny and became the great king whose lineage brought mankind the Messiah, his existence was wrought with pain and sorrow. He was relentlessly pursued and tormented by powerful forces that sought his very existence be wiped off the face of the earth. We get a very real sense of the burden he carried and the despair that occupied his heart and mind in the following passage:

For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away. Because of all my adversaries I have become a reproach,
especially to my neighbors, and an object of dread to my acquaintances; those who see me in the street flee from me. I have been forgotten like one who is dead; I have become like a broken vessel. For I hear the whispering of many – terror on every side! – Psalm 31:10-13

David was a hunted man. Danger was all around him. Death and destruction was just a stone’s throw away. But strong was his faith. Despite the powerful forces arrayed against him, he knew salvation and deliverance was in the Lord’s hands. Yes, his heart was often filled with sorrow, fear and anxiety. Despite this, David knew and believed the God of Abraham would not abandon him as long as he stayed faithful.

But I trust in you oh Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors!

Psalm 31:14-15

How powerful was David’s faith! And what an example of God’s goodness and grace! These passages from Scripture are there to equip and strengthen us in our greatest hour of need. Such a great comfort they were when I was in the depths of the valley, wondering if and when the sadness and pain would ever end. It was in my darkest hour I clung and held fast to verses such as these. Knowing God is the author of truth, and that He would never allow us to be forgotten or forsaken, strengthened my resolve to press on, even in the midst of the fiery trials.

Had David given in to his fears and anxieties, there is no telling how different his life and legacy would have turned out. But he didn’t! And dear stander, neither should you. Resisting the urge to give up on your marriage and your prodigal is part of what sets believers apart from a lost and dying world. We have a hope! With your whole heart, lay your burdens at the foot of the cross, and place your complete trust in Jesus. Walk humbly in His ways and forsake the urge to lean on your own understanding. One way or another, He will reward your faithfulness. That is His promise!

In Christ,

Tommy Larson
Purposed Marriage

Prodigals

An Open Letter to Prodigals

Tommy Larson 
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
Isaiah‬ ‭55:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Are you currently facing profound disappointment and weariness in your marriage? Perhaps you’ve reached a point where investing more time feels futile, and you long for a fresh start—a clean break from a partnership where the love has faded.

If these feelings resonate, please take a moment to pause and consider a perspective on marriage that might challenge your current thinking.

The Path You May Be Considering

If you’ve affirmed the desire to leave, you’ve likely already settled on your path. You might rationalize that no one should remain in a “loveless” marriage, that you deserve happiness, and surely, God wouldn’t want you to be miserable. While you may acknowledge the gravity of divorce, you might believe your situation is a unique exception. You may think that restoration and forgiveness are for other marriages—but not yours.

It’s time to confront this belief.

You Entered into a Covenant with Your Spouse and God

Recall the solemn oath you made on your wedding day, spoken before witnesses and Almighty God:

“I take you to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.”

This vow is rooted in the creation ordinance that Jesus Himself affirmed:

“But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:6-9)

Once joined in marriage, the mandate is clear: the husband and wife should not be separated. The Bible presents this as a non-negotiable command. To willingly violate God’s law and expect no consequences is a grave mistake.

God Does Not Make “Exceptions” to His Law

You might argue: “My spouse violated the covenant by dishonoring or disrespecting me, so it’s okay for me to walk away.”

This reasoning is fundamentally flawed. Two wrongs do not make a right, and Scripture offers no example where one sin is atoned for by committing another. Jesus’ life demonstrates the opposite: He countered hatred with love, anger with grace, and bitterness with forgiveness.

Your spouse’s behavior does not automatically release you from the marriage covenant. While Jesus mentions a specific context:

“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9)

Even in the case of adultery, divorce is not required or justified—it is listed as the sole exception that prevents the divorcing party from being found guilty of adultery when remarrying. The underlying issues of anger, unforgiveness, and hard-heartedness that often precede divorce are still offenses for which you will be held accountable.

“Irreconcilable Differences” Undermines the Gospel

The modern concept of “no-fault” or “irreconcilable differences” directly contradicts the core message of Christianity. The entire story of God and humanity is one of reconciliation: a holy God reconciling Himself with sinful beings through Christ.

“All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation…” (2 Corinthians 5:18-20)

To claim that the conflict between two individuals is too great for God to repair through His power undermines both the reality of His work and the validity of your own faith.

Stubbornness and Unforgiveness are Spiritual Dangers

The Bible equates stubbornness with dangerous spiritual states:

“For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” (1 Samuel 15:23 KJV)

You cannot truly reconcile forgiveness with the pursuit of divorce. They are fundamentally at odds. If you claim to have forgiven your spouse yet proceed with divorce, you are deceiving yourself. Unforgiveness and a right relationship with God cannot coexist.

Furthermore, seeking divorce to gain personal happiness exalts your wants and desires over God’s will, which the Bible condemns:

“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” (Colossians 3:5)

Divorce Sides with the World, Not Christ

The Lord makes His feelings on this issue abundantly clear:

“For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Malachi 2:16 NASB)

Divorce is the antithesis of love. To stand against your spouse in a court of law is to treat them as an enemy—a posture that profoundly damages the Christian witness. As followers of Christ, we are called to stand against the things the world embraces. Defending or advocating for something God says He hates places you in direct opposition to the entire theme of Scripture.

A Time for Repentance and Re-commitment

If this message causes discomfort, be thankful. Your conscience, given by God, is prompting you toward truth. You may be trying to convince others—and yourself—that your decision to divorce is right, but deep down, you know this is not true.

For the sake of your spiritual well-being and your witness, I urge you: Do not go down this path.

One day, you will stand before the Almighty. The excuses you make now will be valueless then. You will be held accountable for denying the truth of Scripture and willingly violating God’s commands.

Do not be foolish. Repent now of your hardened heart and turn back to Christ. His promise is forgiveness. He has a perfect plan for your life, which is realized only when you conform your will to God’s truth, not the other way around.

The time to repent and recommit to your covenant is now. Do not delay.