Category: Prodigals

Endurance, Prodigals

When Truth is Toxic

Tommy Larson

‬‬

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,”

‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭3:16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Have you ever wondered why a spouse determined to leave avoids the truth at all costs? For those standing for their marriage, trying to engage a prodigal spouse in honest conversation can feel frustrating and futile. But when we recognize the enemy’s deception and how deeply it takes root, their resistance becomes clearer.

Those pursuing divorce often avoid difficult conversations because they fear exposure. The last thing someone running from the Lord wants is to be confronted with the truth of Scripture. God’s Word pierces the heart, revealing sin and selfish ambition. This conviction is why so many reject it.

During my separation, but before my divorce, I had a conversation with my wife. When I stood firm on God’s design for marriage and opposed divorce, she accused me of being like a Pharisee—too rigid, too unwilling to see the “spirit” of the law. But I reminded her that the Pharisees were the ones who exalted divorce, and Jesus condemned it. That conversation ended abruptly. She refused to discuss it further and warned that any future communication would go through our lawyers if I brought it up again.

I hadn’t meant to provoke anger, but I realized it wasn’t my words that struck a nerve—it was God’s truth piercing her heart. I was simply the messenger. The Word of God carries authority and power, and when spoken, it challenges the heart. Many who are caught in sin will react defensively, unwilling to face the conviction that truth brings.

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Hebrews‬ ‭4:12‬ ‭ESV

If you’re standing for your marriage, you will encounter anger and resistance. Take comfort in knowing it’s not truly you they oppose—their battle is with God. Those who stand for truth will always face resistance, but you are not alone. The enemy works tirelessly to deceive and divide, but God’s truth remains unshaken.

It’s easy to grow weary when your spouse continually rejects truth, but remember that your fight is not against them—it’s a spiritual battle. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” This battle requires spiritual armor—prayer, faith, and perseverance.

With the help of the Holy Spirit and the support of those God has placed in your life, do not let your spouse’s rejection of truth weaken your resolve. Surround yourself with believers who will pray with you and encourage you. Spend time in God’s presence, allowing Him to strengthen your spirit. Christ has the power to transform even the hardest of hearts.

I have seen it firsthand. If Jesus could redeem my wife, He can do the same for your spouse. It may take time, and the road may be difficult, but God is still in the business of restoration. Stand firm, trust Him, and keep believing. Your faithfulness is never in vain.

In Christ,

Tommy Larson

Endurance, Healing and Reconciliation, Prodigals, Waiting on God

Signs of Restoration

Amy Larson

Tommy and I get a number of inquiries from readers asking my perspective or what we often refer to as the prodigal’s perspective on certain topics. One of the more common questions is, do you think my prodigal is open to the possibility of restoration. More than likely, if you are asking this question, the answer is yes!

During our pause, it was evident to Tommy when the Lord was working on me and softening my heart. We began having more meaningful conversations and spent quality time together with our children. That doesn’t mean there is no hope of restoration if your spouse (or ex-spouse in some cases) doesn’t desire to speak to you or spend time with you, but it may mean you have a longer road ahead if the latter situation is one you find yourself in currently. 

Below are some practical tips along with biblical guidance that greatly impacted my life during our separation and divorce.

  1. Show your prodigal sacrificial love without expecting anything in return.

Nothing demonstrates Christ’s love like sacrifice and selflessness. Find ways to love and serve your prodigal without expecting anything in return. If you are not sure what to do, ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and don’t be surprised if He reveals something that is outside your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone forces trust in the Lord and growth in your spiritual walk. That awkward and uncomfortable feeling also produces authenticity. Your prodigal will sense if you are attempting to serve with an ulterior motive so the more authentic, the better. 

There are numerous examples I’ve shared in our podcasts where Tommy went above and beyond in his pursuit to love me well. His acts of service displayed the love of Christ in ways that were not present during our previous ten years of marriage. Over time, the seeds he sowed took root and began to grow. His sacrifices did not go unnoticed. It did not happen immediately, but in time, God revealed the fruit from his labor. 

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus. ‭‭
Philippians‬ ‭2:1-5‬ ‭

  1. Ask if you can pray with your prodigal or if you can pray for them.

It’s important to use discernment when addressing your prodigal. Some days there may be more of a reluctance to talk about spiritual matters than others. But, when you recognize there is an openness and willingness, ask if you can pray with your spouse or pray for them. Not only will this create a healthy dialogue, but it will also shine a light into what’s happening in the life of your prodigal. 

I don’t recommend this every time you speak, but perhaps monthly or bi-weekly depending on how often you talk. Also, be sure to prepare your heart for their response. Don’t take it personally if they do not request prayer for your marriage. When you spend quiet time with the Lord, you can pray for your current situation.

If your prodigal is agreeable to prayer, that is a great sign that God is at work! Desiring your prodigal to have a restored relationship with the Lord should far outweigh the longing for a restored marriage. Keep in mind, only the work of the Holy Spirit can transform the heart and mind so be patient and loving when approaching your spouse.  

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.
Matthew 18:20

I will give them a heart to know that I am the Lord, and they shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart.
Jeremiah 24:7

  1. Take responsibility for any sinful behaviors, habits or actions that you may have contributed to the marriage. 

I recognize this may be very hard to hear, and you may be wondering why you should take the initiative if you’re the one being wronged. This difficult question has a very simple answer. God took the initiative to love us when we were unloveable and we should do the same for our covenant spouse. Repentance is necessary before reconciliation can occur and God’s Word calls us to reconcile relationships. You have no control over your prodigal’s actions or inactions, but you can take personal responsibility for yourself.

I remember vividly every time Tommy came to me to apologize for past sins and ways he had wronged me. At first, I thought he was using his sins as an excuse for his bad behavior. With time, I came to understand that God had transformed his heart and his godly sorrow was sincere.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans‬ ‭5:8‬

‭Do all you can to live in peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18

But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
Luke‬ ‭6:27-28, 36‬ 

For those that have little to no contact with your prodigal, there is still hope! We did not always communicate well or communicate often. It takes time. God hears your cries and understands your desire for healing and restoration, so don’t give up on the process. If you find yourself in a similar situation, I pray these steps come in handy.

  1. Pray fervently. 1 John 5:14, Romans 12:12, James 5:16, Philippians 4:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:17
  2. Read Scripture for encouragement and guidance. Matthew 4:4, Hebrews 4:12, Isaiah 30:21, Psalm 25:4-5, James 1:5, Proverbs 3:5-6, John 16:13, 2 Timothy 3:16-17
  3. Fast. Joel 2:12, Matthew 6:16-18, Matthew 5:6
  4. Serve while you wait. Galatians 5:13, Romans 12:1, 1 Peter 4:10, Matthew 20:27-28, Romans 12:10-13
  5. Lean on your church family. Galatians 6:2, James 5:16, 2 Corinthians 13:11, Colossians 3:16, Hebrews 10:24-25

Dear friends, may God continue to bless you and strengthen you as you stand for your marriage, no matter where you are in your journey!

In Christ,
Amy Larson

Prodigals

An Open Letter to Prodigals

Tommy Larson 
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
Isaiah‬ ‭55:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Are you currently facing profound disappointment and weariness in your marriage? Perhaps you’ve reached a point where investing more time feels futile, and you long for a fresh start—a clean break from a partnership where the love has faded.

If these feelings resonate, please take a moment to pause and consider a perspective on marriage that might challenge your current thinking.

The Path You May Be Considering

If you’ve affirmed the desire to leave, you’ve likely already settled on your path. You might rationalize that no one should remain in a “loveless” marriage, that you deserve happiness, and surely, God wouldn’t want you to be miserable. While you may acknowledge the gravity of divorce, you might believe your situation is a unique exception. You may think that restoration and forgiveness are for other marriages—but not yours.

It’s time to confront this belief.

You Entered into a Covenant with Your Spouse and God

Recall the solemn oath you made on your wedding day, spoken before witnesses and Almighty God:

“I take you to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.”

This vow is rooted in the creation ordinance that Jesus Himself affirmed:

“But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:6-9)

Once joined in marriage, the mandate is clear: the husband and wife should not be separated. The Bible presents this as a non-negotiable command. To willingly violate God’s law and expect no consequences is a grave mistake.

God Does Not Make “Exceptions” to His Law

You might argue: “My spouse violated the covenant by dishonoring or disrespecting me, so it’s okay for me to walk away.”

This reasoning is fundamentally flawed. Two wrongs do not make a right, and Scripture offers no example where one sin is atoned for by committing another. Jesus’ life demonstrates the opposite: He countered hatred with love, anger with grace, and bitterness with forgiveness.

Your spouse’s behavior does not automatically release you from the marriage covenant. While Jesus mentions a specific context:

“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9)

Even in the case of adultery, divorce is not required or justified—it is listed as the sole exception that prevents the divorcing party from being found guilty of adultery when remarrying. The underlying issues of anger, unforgiveness, and hard-heartedness that often precede divorce are still offenses for which you will be held accountable.

“Irreconcilable Differences” Undermines the Gospel

The modern concept of “no-fault” or “irreconcilable differences” directly contradicts the core message of Christianity. The entire story of God and humanity is one of reconciliation: a holy God reconciling Himself with sinful beings through Christ.

“All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation…” (2 Corinthians 5:18-20)

To claim that the conflict between two individuals is too great for God to repair through His power undermines both the reality of His work and the validity of your own faith.

Stubbornness and Unforgiveness are Spiritual Dangers

The Bible equates stubbornness with dangerous spiritual states:

“For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” (1 Samuel 15:23 KJV)

You cannot truly reconcile forgiveness with the pursuit of divorce. They are fundamentally at odds. If you claim to have forgiven your spouse yet proceed with divorce, you are deceiving yourself. Unforgiveness and a right relationship with God cannot coexist.

Furthermore, seeking divorce to gain personal happiness exalts your wants and desires over God’s will, which the Bible condemns:

“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” (Colossians 3:5)

Divorce Sides with the World, Not Christ

The Lord makes His feelings on this issue abundantly clear:

“For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Malachi 2:16 NASB)

Divorce is the antithesis of love. To stand against your spouse in a court of law is to treat them as an enemy—a posture that profoundly damages the Christian witness. As followers of Christ, we are called to stand against the things the world embraces. Defending or advocating for something God says He hates places you in direct opposition to the entire theme of Scripture.

A Time for Repentance and Re-commitment

If this message causes discomfort, be thankful. Your conscience, given by God, is prompting you toward truth. You may be trying to convince others—and yourself—that your decision to divorce is right, but deep down, you know this is not true.

For the sake of your spiritual well-being and your witness, I urge you: Do not go down this path.

One day, you will stand before the Almighty. The excuses you make now will be valueless then. You will be held accountable for denying the truth of Scripture and willingly violating God’s commands.

Do not be foolish. Repent now of your hardened heart and turn back to Christ. His promise is forgiveness. He has a perfect plan for your life, which is realized only when you conform your will to God’s truth, not the other way around.

The time to repent and recommit to your covenant is now. Do not delay.