Category: Contentment

Contentment

False Comfort in the Midst of Brokenness

Tommy Larson 
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19–21, ESV)

The conclusion of a marriage is a season of profound upheaval, marked by significant grief and the disruption of a core life covenant. As we observe this season, it is imperative for believers navigating divorce or separation to critically evaluate where they seek solace and stability.

The retail market promises immediate gratification and the illusion of control through buying what I want. Yet, from a strictly biblical perspective, this pursuit of temporal comfort—the attempt to mend internal brokenness with external, material goods—is a path of profound spiritual distraction.

A Biblical Argument Against Worldly Treasure

Our mandate, as delivered by our Lord, is to prioritize the eternal over the perishable. The Gospel narrative consistently challenges the notion that worldly possessions can satisfy the deepest needs of the soul:

For individuals experiencing the acute pain of divorce, the vulnerability to this temptation is amplified. A significant purchase might momentarily mask the sorrow, but it inevitably fails to address the root wound. Material assets are inherently transitory; they are subject to depreciation, decay, and loss. They lack the capacity to execute the work of spiritual healing or relational restoration.

The mistake lies in seeking an eternal solution—the deep peace and lasting identity found only in Christ—within a temporal framework. Shopping, spending, and accumulating goods as remedy to numb emotional pain, offering no true substantive relief.

Fulfillment in Christ

The only enduring comfort and true foundation for hope is found in the redemptive work and person of Jesus Christ. The New Testament provides a stark contrast between the fleeting world and the immovable Kingdom of God.

  • Never-ending Hope: The comfort offered by Christ is an inheritance that is reserved in heaven, described as “imperishable, undefiled, and unfading” (1 Peter 1:4). No earthly transaction can yield this kind of security.
  • Sufficiency in Weakness: In moments of brokenness and perceived failure—feelings often associated with divorce—we are directed away from self-reliance and worldly substitutes and toward the sufficiency of God’s grace. As the Apostle Paul learned, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV).
  • The Eternal Weight of Glory: We are encouraged to view our present afflictions, however devastating, through the lens of eternity. These trials are temporary and are actively preparing us for an “eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17, ESV).

This season must be recognized not as an opportunity for material replacement, but as a critical moment for spiritual realignment. The emptiness caused by a broken covenant cannot be filled by an empty shopping cart. It can only be filled by the overwhelming, unconditional love of the Redeemer.

We are called to resist the culturally loud message of consumerism and instead cultivate contentment and peace by fixing our gaze on the only treasure that truly lasts. Our peace is not purchased; it is received through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Contentment, Faithfulness

Finding Light in the Darkest Valley: The Discipline of Gratitude

Tommy Larson
Finding Light
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Thessalonians 5:15

If you are currently navigating the fires of separation or facing the devastating finality of divorce, we must begin by acknowledging the gravity of your situation. We extend our deepest sympathies for the profound pain you are enduring.

At Purposed Marriage Ministry, we staunchly champion the sanctity of marriage. However, we also recognize the shattered reality many of you face. You are navigating a grief that is unique, complex, and exhausting. You are mourning not merely the loss of a partner, but the dissolution of a shared history and a envisioned future. When one’s world is upended, it is natural to feel abandoned, angry, and utterly adrift.

To propose the practice of gratitude amidst the wreckage of your life may seem counter-intuitive, perhaps even offensive. To speak of thankfulness while your heart is breaking feels impossible. We understand this resistance; however, it is precisely in these moments that we must reframe our understanding of what gratitude truly is.

The Misunderstanding of Gratitude

Society often positions gratitude as a reaction to good fortune. We are taught to be thankful when circumstances align with our desires, when prayers are answered favorably, and when life is tranquil.

The Biblical perspective, however, is radically different. Gratitude is not a reaction to our circumstances; it is a discipline of our faith. It serves as an anchor that holds us fast when the storm is raging. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, the Apostle Paul writes:

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

God does not ask you to give thanks for the divorce. He does not expect you to be grateful for the betrayal, the isolation, or the financial uncertainty. Rather, He invites you to offer thanks in the midst of it. Gratitude is the primary weapon we use to combat despair. It is the mechanism by which we remind our hearts that while our circumstances have shifted, the character of our God remains unchanged.

The Sacrifice of Praise

When one is in the thick of separation, gratitude is rarely an emotive response; it is a spiritual labor. The writer of Hebrews refers to this as a “sacrifice of praise” (Hebrews 13:15).

A sacrifice, by definition, implies a cost. Offering thanks to God when you are in anguish may require every ounce of spiritual fortitude you possess. It is an act of defiance against an enemy who seeks to consume you with bitterness. When your identity as a spouse, your home life, and your routines are stripped away, you are forced into a desperate, beautiful dependence on God alone. It is within this raw vulnerability that gratitude becomes a lifeline.

Practical Application: Starting Small

How does one practice gratitude while enduring such significant pain? We must start small and focus on the eternal.

  • Be Grateful for God: Your marriage may have ended, but your status as a beloved child of God remains secure. Romans 8:38-39 promises that nothing—neither angels nor demons, nor the present nor the future—can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. No court document can annul His covenant with you. Give thanks that He is the companion who will never leave nor forsake you.
  • Be Grateful for Sustaining Grace: Reflect on the fact that you have endured yesterday. Though it was painful, you are here today. As Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Thank Him for the breath in your lungs this very moment.
  • Be Grateful for the God’s Provision: When the Israelites wandered the desert, God did not provide a five-year plan; He provided manna for the day. Identify your “manna” today. Is it a supportive conversation with a friend? A moment of silence amidst the chaos? A song that realigned your perspective? Identify that singular mercy, seize it, and offer thanks.

Shifting Our Prespectives

Gratitude during divorce is not an exercise in denial. It is not about pretending that everything is well. It is about acknowledging that even when our circumstances are not good, God remains good. It is the discipline of shifting our gaze from the magnitude of our problems to the magnitude of our God.

If you are walking this lonely road, it is my prayer that you find the strength to whisper a word of thanks to Jesus—not for the pain, but for His presence within it. He is close to the brokenhearted. Lean on Him, for He is capable of bearing the weight of your grief, and He is worthy of your trust.

Contentment, Healing and Reconciliation

Christ is Enough

Tommy Larson

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

Psalm 16:5

For those in troubled marriages whose spouses have left or checked out emotionally, it’s easy to think of our situations in terms of what is lacking. While it is natural to desire and long for reconciliation and restoration, we need to be mindful of our tendencies to forget the abundance of grace and mercy poured out upon us each and every day.

Reflecting back on my time in the valley, I remember occasions I would give in to despair, or be overwhelmed by the stress and pain the fight for my marriage was causing me to endure. Being in a position now where I can look back and assess my past actions, it’s clear the times I found myself in the lowest emotional state, was when I was focusing on my situation, rather than my identity as a child of God. Back then, I often lacked perspective, and failed to see the broader picture. In reality, that short chapter of my life was an indescribably small segment, compared to the rest of eternity. It’s that same lack of perspective that compels many standers to lose hope for restoration, and instead turn to the fleeting and temporal happiness found elsewhere.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Mature believers in the Lord will understand the practical implications of this reality. For them, contentment in present circumstances is the norm. It is because of this right way of thinking, they are able to endure the hardships, persecution, and suffering that accompanies remaining faithful to marital vows after a partner has walked away. These standers have come to grips with the role God has assigned to them. Obedience and acceptance is the driver and motivator for all they say, do and think. Underlying all of that however, is the understanding that their lives belong to Christ, and that glorifying and growing His Kingdom remains their primary goal and purpose.

Do you find yourself constantly asking God for more? Are you struggling emotionally, and find yourself longing for companionship, and a restored fellowship with your prodigal spouse? If the answer is yes, it shouldn’t come as a surprise. While God has designed us to be relational beings, and has given us hearts and minds meant to connect on deep levels with one another, we need to be mindful not to let our emotions rule over us. Overactive emotions can oftentimes lead us to lose perspective, and act in ways that are not rational. If honest, many reading this will probably admit that being guided by over active emotions in the past, likely contributed to the fractured state of our marriages.

As believers, we need to come to the point when we say to ourselves, “Christ is enough”. In the book of Philippians, Paul tells us to be content, regardless of the circumstances. Practically speaking, this is to say “If the Lord restores my marriage, I will be content.” or “If the Lord delays the restoration of my marriage, I will be content.” It’s not a matter of where we find ourselves in the restoration process that should define our level of contentment. Rather, our state of mind should be characterized by satisfaction, peace and well-being. Remember, the outward expression of our inner heart condition is what the lost world sees displayed in front of their eyes. May our testimonies always reflect the reality of Christ’s abundant grace and goodness.

True, we should all continue to pray God’s will for our marriages, and that restoration occurs in the Lord’s perfect timing. Never cease in this endeavor. But as you make your petitions before the Lord, also ask for contentment. It is when we arrive at the point when we can say, “Christ is truly enough.” that God has us exactly where He wants us. It is in these moments, great and miraculous things can occur!

In Christ,

Tommy Larson
Purposed Marriage