Before we started our ministry nearly two years ago, Tommy and I spent time intentionally praying and discussing how we would share our story and the life lessons we learned through our restoration process. One aspect we both felt strongly about was a desire to be genuine, to speak from a place of vulnerability and authenticity. In doing so, we never imagined God would use us to touch the lives of so many broken, desperately hurting couples that mirror our past. We are honored the Lord has provided opportunities for us to share our valley experiences in order to encourage other couples amidst their marriage struggles!
Sharing my personal testimony, as once a prodigal, has especially been humbling. When I look back and realize how patient God was with me, I’m often reminded of Paul’s words in 1 Cor. 15:9-10.
For I am the least of the apostles unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace towards me was not in vain.
Praise God, He did not leave me where I was. Our loving Father pursued me, chastened me and showed immeasurable amounts of grace along the way. He also used Tommy to demonstrate love for me as he continually stood for our marriage even when there seemed to be little to no hope. The more I share the heart transformation that took place in my life, the deeper the gratitude I feel towards God for providing my husband the strength to continue his stand.
Tommy’s primary motivation behind standing for our marriage was based on his desire to see God grant us both repentance and bring us back into alignment with God’s will. Part of that painful journey meant he had to patiently endure evil, evil from the one he vowed to love forever, in good times and in bad. I did not come to the knowledge of truth by Tommy pointing out my indiscretions and focusing on my sinful behavior. I came to the understanding of truth by the prayers Tommy and others cried out on my behalf. God heard their pleas and He also looked inwardly to the motivation of my husband’s heart.
And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:24-26
The closer Tommy walked with the Lord, the more he relinquished control over our situation placing his faith in God to perform a miracle in our marriage. I couldn’t help but notice his full submission to the Lord. Tommy’s gentleness with me turned away my wrath allowing me to be vulnerable to the idea of restoration. I escaped the snare of the devil and I came to the knowledge of the UGLY truth. I had been used by the enemy to do his will! When that devastating reality set in, there was no more finger pointing, no more blame shifting. I came to my senses with a deep sadness which brought me to my knees before the Lord. There were tears of anguish and hurt as the veil was lifted and I understood I had been a participant in doing the devil’s bidding.
Dear friend, it takes the work of the Holy Spirit to prick your prodigal’s heart. The pain you are experiencing may be unrelenting and the natural response is to revile in return. But, keep in mind, your spouse has been captured by the enemy to do his will. Your prodigal will have to come to this realization on their own, in God’s perfect timing. Pray fervently and look to Christ as your example while you wait.
When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 1 Peter 2:23
In Christ,
Amy Larson
beautiful message and thank you for putting pride aside (as all Christians should do) to allow God’s grace and miracle to be communicated by your restoration. Its very hard to stand especially being a man (as the pressures of this worlds expectations for men can allow false pride to overwhelm our decisions and beliefs aka a trick of the enemy). May Jesus christ always have mercy on your beautiful family.
Thanks for following Emi. May God continue to hold you up and strengthen you during your stand! Psalms 37:23-24
Incredible testimony. Gives me courage to stand for my wife and wait on Gods timing while He works in me. Absolutely loved this, thank you for your vulnerability and your heart!
Yes, Mike! God calls us to wait and often times it’s because He is preparing our and/or our spouse’s heart for reconciliation I encourage you to continue to cooperate with the Holy Spirit, as He transforms your heart and mind. Praying alongside you while you wait! Ephesians 4:23-24
I’m in an especially difficult time in my stand for my husband to return to the Lord and our home. I believe with all of my heart that the Lord has called me to this stand and the intense heartache and discouragement has me feeling like I should fold. Thank you for the encouragement to continue praying for my husband and for the repentance in both of our lives for God to be glorified.
Praying for God to do far more abundantly than all that you think or ask! Ephesians 3:20
Thank you for being honest, it gives me hope in my stand for my wife and marriage to remember that Satan is the enemy! not my wife, and that God will restore our marriage in his perfect timing for his namesake and glory.