Tag: Suffering

Healing and Reconciliation, Spiritual Warfare

God is in Control

Tommy Larson

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Roughly six months into my marriage stand I found myself desperately trying to affect positive change in Amy’s heart in order to discourage her pursuit of divorce. Often inviting her to spend time with the boys and myself, I had grown used to the excuses for not coming. In one sense, I was in a helpless state. I had no control over whether or not my situation would change but at the end of the day, I didn’t want to look back at my actions and regret failing to act when given the opportunity. Opportunities to show love and kindness were few and far between in those days, so each time one presented itself, it needed to be seized upon.

One particular occasion where the Lord spoke to my spirit comes to mind that is worth sharing. It was a late afternoon on a clear, fall Saturday. I had been given the boys for the weekend and was looking for things to do that could potentially be done by the entire family if Amy agreed to join us. We had purchased a couple kites for the boys and with the day being on the windy side, I thought it a good chance for us to put the kites to the test. I sent Amy a message inviting her to come but as was normally the case, she wasn’t interested. Despite this, I determined to make the occasion one that our boys would enjoy.

I drove us up to a local dam where I had frequently come to fish in the past. There were grassy fields near the banks on both sides of the water that were ideal for kids to play on. We got out the kites and before long they were up in the air flying high in the sky. My oldest son took to it rather quickly, so it wasn’t long after we began that I let him fly the kite by himself. During this time, I stayed busy with the other boys who became more interested in looking for bugs and other treasures than flying kites. Several minutes later I observed Micah getting his kite caught in a nearby tree. Naturally, I came over to assist. I pulled and tugged in every possible direction but it was no use. The kite simply was not coming down. I consoled my son and explained that sometimes things like that happened. It wasn’t his fault and there was really nothing we could do about it.

By that time, the other boys were ready to leave so I started the process of gathering things up and putting the little boys in their car seats. I then opened my door, got in and started the engine. Just before taking the car out of park, I looked up in the air. I noticed the kite Micah had gotten stuck in the tree had become loose and was floating towards us. I continued to watch as it landed right next to the vehicle. I opened the car door, and there it was, laying within arm’s reach.

That people may know, from the rising of the sun and from the west, that there is none besides me; I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things. Isaiah 45:6-7

At that moment I was reminded of God’s sovereignty and the fact He was able to accomplish what I was unable to under my own power and strength. This timely lesson served to reorient my perspective and move me away from patterns of thinking that led to anxiety and self focus. The kite became a metaphor which represented my troubled marriage. Fought as I could to restore it, I realized the work had to be done by Almighty God who was far more able to accomplish what needed to be done.

While it’s easy to be discouraged when the efforts to reach our prodigal spouse fall flat and sometimes even result in more pain and further division, you must know that at any time, God has the power and authority to free your husband or wife from the clutches of the enemy. Do not grow weary in showing kindness and love when given the chance. Continue to extend grace and humility at every opportunity. Know and believe that God, in his perfect timing, will reward those who diligently seek him. The “kite” that may represent your marriage right now is not destined to remain stuck in a tree. As long as God is sovereign (and He always will be), there is hope that restoration and healing will one day be headed your way!

In Christ,

Tommy Larson

Marriage, Suffering

Suffering for Christ

Tommy Larson

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Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3–5

For standers (those seeking marriage restoration), one of the most difficult things to deal with and work through is the pain inflicted upon us by those taken captive by the enemy. Our spouse’s hurtful words and actions born out of anger, bitterness, and resentment have the power to put us in precarious and vulnerable emotional and mental states. Compounding the problem is the fact that while enduring the pain, we are filled with disbelief and confusion, as we attempt to reconcile how someone with whom we are joined in a marriage covenant can openly attack and wish us harm.

Leading up to our divorce, there were times I looked into Amy’s eyes and didn’t recognize her. It was a though the woman I married had been replaced by someone I had never known. My words of love and sacrificial acts of service were often laughed at, ignored and in some cases, openly mocked. I can’t express how painful this was. Those fighting for their marriage and dealing with a spouse hell bent on breaking their covenant, can attest to how vicious and cruel these same words and deeds can be. However, when you consider our prodigal spouses are willingly pursuing what God hates, we shouldn’t be surprised that the manner in which they chase after this evil plan will be marked by callousness, insensitivity, and anger. To put it another way, we should expect to be persecuted for our stand.

So what then are we to make of this? What are we to do when we are wrongfully attacked, accused and threatened? The Scriptures are not silent. In fact, there is much God’s word has to say about suffering; especially suffering for the sake of Christ.

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.  If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. 1 Peter 4:12–14

Throughout my painful stand, the Holy Spirit continued to impress upon my heart to persevere and endure the refining fires I was called to walk through. I was being allowed to suffer so as to cause genuine spiritual growth in my own heart and life. The more I understood this, the more I became aware of the suffering Christ endured on my behalf. The love, mercy and grace poured out upon each of us by God, should instill in us an even deeper commitment and resolve to pursue our spouses in their darkened spiritual condition.

Pastor Tim Keller has said, “Jesus Christ did not suffer so that you would not suffer. He suffered so that when you suffer, you’ll become more like him. The gospel does not promise you better life circumstances; it promises you a better life.” How true these words are!

Your suffering now is for a reason. It is also for a season. You don’t need to know how long you must endure or when the pain will be lessened. Rather, you need to be aware that the Lord seeks to draw you closer and to transform your identity into one that mirrors the sacrificial and loving example Christ Jesus set for us. It is when our own hearts become broken and made humble before the Lord that true and meaningful growth is poised to take root.

Standers, continue to allow the Lord to transform you during this time of fiery trials. Hold fast to His Word and promises. Know that one day, you will be rewarded for your faithfulness and devotion to Him. And as you suffer for the sake of the Gospel, know that Christ shares in your suffering with and alongside you.

In Christ,
Tommy Larson

Christian Walk, Faith, Marriage, Uncategorized

We Walk by Faith, Not by Sight

Tommy Larson

Copy of We walk by faith, not by sight.

The day I had dreaded for over a year was finally upon me. The scheduled mediation where Amy and I would formally and legally divide our belongings was underway. My emotions were in tatters and I struggled to stay composed throughout the proceedings. Feelings of regret, despair, and disbelief all seemed to be consuming my heart and mind at the same time. The woman I had ten years earlier stood alongside in our marriage ceremony and had made an oath to never leave, was about to be legally removed from my side.

During the mediation I can remember pleading with God to intervene and stop what was taking place. I knew what His word said about divorce and couldn’t believe it was His perfect will that the events unfolding before my eyes were a part of His plan for my life, as well as the lives of my children and covenant wife. How could this be happening? Where was God?

Of course, even though I wasn’t “feeling” God’s presence at that moment, I know He was there. Since then, I’ve grown to understand that God’s silence does not mean his absence in our lives and circumstances. The miracle he had in store for Amy and I required this storm be weathered and endured. My faith in Him needed to be grown and cultivated. The “harvest” was not yet ready.

In 2 Corinthians 5:7 we read, “For we walk by faith, and not by sight.” This faith in the power of God to heal and restore was not always easy to believe in. In fact, my faith seemed to contradict all that was real at the time. And make no mistake, I was being verbally reminded by Amy and others of that painful reality on a regular basis. Despite this, the Lord was speaking to my heart and sustaining my spirit. He frequently reminded me of the numerous examples in Scripture where faith was tied to waiting and enduring. This brought me great comfort.

Could God have intervened in that attorney’s office and changed Amy’s heart in an instant? Of course He could have. But I believe in my heart that the power of Christ was demonstrated in a greater way after the judge’s verdict was handed down. It was as though an impenetrable fortress was allowed to be built by the enemy, only to have Almighty God bring it down in a swift and powerful way. It did not matter what had happened in the past or what the new normal appeared to be at the time. The same power that raised Christ from the dead, had the ability to resurrect a dead marriage.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

You may find yourself in a circumstance that seems hopeless. Perhaps you are going through a divorce, or just recently became divorced. Do not give up hope. Pray to the Father daily that His will be done in your life and in the lives of the ones you love. We know what the Lord desires for husbands, wives and families. Do not accept defeat or Satan’s lie that you will find your happiness by moving on or “getting over” your failed marriage. Your happiness and joy comes from Jesus Christ. Your identity is in Him. Submit to His will daily and pray in faith that God does what only He can do. Nothing is impossible with Him.

In Christ,
Tommy Larson

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