Tag: Purposed Marriage

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God’s Timing is Perfect

Tommy Larson

“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”‬‬

Lamentations‬ ‭3:25-26‬ ‭ESV

For men and women hoping against hope that a husband or wife will return home, conversations surrounding the idea of “time” can be a sensitive topic. Those on the “standing” side of the fence, who possess a Biblical worldview and kingdom perspective, know that regardless of time, God’s plans and intentions are always fulfilled. Unfortunately, this mindset is lost on many.

Most believers are familiar with the Gospel story of Jesus and Lazarus. As readers will recall, prior to the miraculous resurrection of Lazarus, his sisters Mary and Martha made a desperate plea to summon Jesus in order that Lazarus would be delivered from his life threatening affliction.

As the story goes, Jesus arrived at the home of Mary and Martha only after Lazarus had already passed. This was a devastating emotional blow for Lazarus’s family and friends. If only Jesus had come more quickly, perhaps Lazarus would not have died. Their hearts were broken and all it appeared all hope was lost.

But God!

What Mary and Martha didn’t know, was that Jesus was planning for a miracle. The “delay” was by no means an attempt to cause pain or undue suffering. Rather, it was done in order to help set the stage for one of the greatest miracles that would be performed during His ministry. To be clear, the glorious resurrection of Lazarus was made possible because Christ did NOT arrive at the time of Mary and Martha’s choosing.

As it pertains to marriage restoration, we as believers risk making the same mistakes as Mary and Martha by putting time constraints on God, or setting artificial parameters through which the Lord is allowed to work His miracles. These are errors we should not make. To do so is not only wrong, but a clear demonstration of our lack of faith.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your path.”

Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭ESV

Fully believing in Christ’s authority to design and implement the plan He alone creates is what Christians must consistently keep within our hearts. With God’s help, determine this very day to cast aside the ideas and preconceived notions of what restoration may eventually look like. Acknowledge that it is Christ alone who will author your story of healing and reconciliation. Be humble, and willing to wait as long as it takes for the tapestry that God is weaving, to be made complete. While this is happening, allow the Lord to shape and remake you into His image. One that is acceptable and pleasing in His sight.

In Christ,

Tommy Larson

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Fully Surrender

Amy Larson

I am convinced, divorce is one of the darkest and loneliest trials a person can face. Counseling others through separation and divorce, I’m often reminded of the deep hurt and pain that’s inflicted during the process. The anguish can be all-consuming, making simple tasks like eating, sleeping and getting dressed feel impossible. God created Adam a helpmate suitable in Eve because His design for marriage was life-long companionship. When marriages crumple and one or both spouses head down the path towards divorce, there is a ripping away of the one-flesh covenant. The pain is excruciating, and at times the suffering seems almost unbearable.

Thankfully, we have an ever-present Father. He hears us when we bury our heads in the pillow each night and silently cry ourselves to sleep. He’s alert when we shout out in desperation pleading with Him to save our marriages day after day. Our Savior longs to hear from us, and tells us to cast all our burdens upon Him because he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). Perhaps you are crying out to the Lord, but have you released your worries into his hands? Have you surrendered everything? God’s greatest work begins in us when we recognize we have nothing left to offer and nothing else to give but ourselves. Our fully surrendered life is what the Father is after.

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

Surrender is not a once and done task in the life of a believer. It is to be lived out daily, hour by hour and minute by minute. We must actively choose not to withhold anything from God. Unconditional surrender means to completely release control, trusting that the One to whom we surrender has a better plan for our lives than we do. Right now your marriage may be topsy-turvy, and your future may feel uncertain. If you find yourself fighting for control or feel overwhelmed by fear and anxiety, that’s a sign you need to release your situation over to the Lord and turn away from doing things your way.

When we release control, that’s when we find healing. For freedom is not obtained by our control, but through our surrender. We must trust and believe our loving Father’s promises from scripture, especially when we walk through life’s valleys.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

God will not waste your season of suffering, friends! He uses our trials for our good and His Glory!

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Dangerous Distractions

Tommy Larson

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on His law he meditates day and night.”

Psalm 1:1–2 (ESV)

Were you shocked when your spouse left? Were you left bewildered and dumbfounded after hearing your spouse say they didn’t love you anymore and wanted out of the marriage? If you were like me, I had literally no idea of the precarious condition my marriage was in until the day it suddenly fell apart. To say I was blindsided, was an understatement. 

Had I been in God’s will and applying Biblical discernment to the spheres of my life that needed it most, I would likely have been more aware of the imminent danger. Unfortunately, due to my pride and arrogance, I had allowed blinders to blur my focus. This prevented me from seeing the warning signs all around. Unfortunately, my personal experience is not unique. So many we hear from have admitted to dropping the ball and not prioritizing the spiritual health of themselves or their family. Coming to this realization usually arrives only after the destruction of the marriage is well underway. But it doesn’t have to be like this.

When we allow ourselves to be consumed with “non-kingdom” influences and place the investment in our relationship with Christ on the back-burner, we play a risky game. In this day and age, the traps and snares of the devil are everywhere. Men, do you spend countless hours watching TV or checking your phones for the latest news on your favorite sports team? Are you wasting your time binge watching Netflix for hours on end? Or how about filling your head with garbage content from TikTok that you’d be ashamed to view in the presence of children? Ladies, are you constantly checking your Facebook and Instagram feeds? Is your emotional mood determined by the number of likes, comments, and reposts? If so, you are in way too deep.

Truth be told, these distractions and social obsessions have done more to erode the spiritual condition of our hearts than we ever thought possible. Our preoccupation with the digital world, social media, and 24/7 access to entertainment has left us spiritually empty and hollow. Our saturated minds have become void of the very knowledge that should prevent our hearts from growing cold, calloused and incapable of discerning the voice of the Holy Spirit.

I’m not laying blame solely at the feet of the social media giants or the entertainment and sports industries. These distractions and obsessions only cause damage because we allow them to. We purposely consume and willingly participate in activities that have become addictions. It’s a safe bet that a majority of us would lose sleep over being denied access to social media accounts, but wouldn’t bat an eye if we lost or misplaced our Bibles. These days, Christians constantly sacrifice the things of God for temporal pleasure and worldly desires. Over the course of a lifetime, these departures from the faith will take their toll.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

I John 2:15-17

When we know who is “trending” on Twitter, or are aware of the latest The Voice contestant to just be eliminated, but can’t remember anything about what we heard in church last Sunday, then our priorities are out of alignment. And therein lies the hidden danger. The enemy keeps us from protecting our homes and families by distracting us with a continuous onslaught of trivial pursuits. It’s a proven strategy.

Our investment in culture, instead of the Word of God, and a pursuit of righteousness, has left many of us ignorant and unprepared to face spiritual battles that come our way. As followers of Christ, it comes down to obedience, and we all need to submit. 

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.”

Colossians 3:1-3

Before you find yourself in the midst of a marriage crisis, take time to evaluate your own life, and ask if the investments currently being made strengthen the marriage bond or cause it to become weaker. If it’s the latter, then change course while you still have the chance. To delay is foolishness, and a move that will only lead to regret.

In Christ,

Tommy Larson