Tag: Marriage

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The Sound of Silence

Purposed Marriage
A woman sitting on a couch with her head in her hand, looking distressed, next to a table with a suitcase and a glass of water.

It is one thing to face the end of a marriage; it is another thing entirely to face it in total silence. When a spouse walks away and shuts the door of communication behind them, the void left behind isn’t just empty, it’s loud. It’s filled with the echoes of “why” and “what now.” If you find yourself in this quiet wilderness, its important to remember that while your spouse may have stopped speaking, God has not.

In the middle of such profound abandonment, our natural human instinct is to chase. We want to explain, to plead, or simply to understand. But there is a sacred, difficult strength found in learning to be still. The Bible reminds us in Psalm 139 that there is nowhere we can go where God is not already present. Even in the isolation of a “blocked” number or an unreturned email, you are fully seen and known by the Creator. He isn’t waiting for your spouse to come back before He starts working in your life; He is working in the silence right now.

Hope in this season starts with a shift in focus. It’s a painful reality, but we cannot control the heart of another person. We can, however, entrust that heart—and our own—to the One who fashioned them. There is a profound release that happens when we stop leaning on our own understanding of why they left and start leaning on the character of the God who stayed. This isn’t about giving up on your marriage, but about surrendering the outcome to the only One who can actually change a human heart.

While you wait, use this time not to dwell on the absence of their voice, but to tune your ear to the Voice that calls you His son or daughter. This is a time to grieve honestly. Don’t feel the need to “spiritualize” away the pain. Bring your lament to the Lord just as the psalmists did. He is close to the brokenhearted, and He saves those who are crushed in spirit. Surround yourself with a community that can hold up your arms when you are too tired to pray for yourself.

Remember that your identity was never meant to be anchored in a human relationship. People may fail us, leave us, or silence us, but Christ remains the same yesterday, today, and forever. Let this season of silence become a season of deep, personal renewal. When the world feels quiet, listen for the “still, small voice” that promises a future and a hope. You are not defined by who left you; you are defined by the One who will never leave nor forsake you.

Here are some verses to help equip those suffering this season. May they be a blessing and encouragement.

Isaiah 41:10 – So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Hebrews 13:5 – Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.

Matthew 11:28 – Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Romans 8:38-39 – For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalm 147:3 – He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

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Standing Firm in the Storm: A Biblical Strategy for the New Year

Purposed Marriage
A silhouette of a woman in a long dress standing in a field, facing a dramatic sky filled with dark clouds and lightning.
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." — Psalm 34:18

The start of a new year often feels like a fresh chapter, but when you are facing the wreckage of a dissolving marriage, the “newness” can feel like a threat rather than a promise. If you are entering this year in the midst of divorce, it is vital to recognize that you are in a strategic spiritual season.

The enemy thrives in the chaos of a broken covenant, hoping to lead you toward isolation and resentment. But as a child of God, you do not enter this year defeated. You enter it as a soldier of the Cross, called to stand firm.

Guarding the Mind and Soul

When your world is being upended, your greatest battlefield is the space between your ears. To win the spiritual battle this year, you must apply these Biblical principles:

  • Take Every Thought Captive: 2 Corinthians 10:5 commands us to destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God. When thoughts of “I am unloved” or “My life is ruined” arise, replace them immediately with the Word of God.
  • The Power of Stillness: In the legal and logistical noise of divorce, the enemy wants you hurried and frantic. Instead, practice Psalm 46:10: “Be still, and know that I am God.” Victory is found in resting in His sovereignty, not in your own striving.
  • Refuse the Spirit of Retaliation: The world tells you to “get even,” but the Word tells us that vengeance belongs to the Lord (Romans 12:19). Gearing up for spiritual battle means putting down the weapons of worldly malice and picking up the weapons of prayer and integrity.

Walking Through the Valley

You may be walking through the “valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23), but remember: You are walking through it. It is not your permanent residence. Hold fast to this truth!

  • Identify Your “Aarons and Hurs”: Just as Aaron and Hur held up Moses’ arms when he was weary (Exodus 17:12), you need Godly men or women to hold you up when you are too tired to pray for yourself. Reach out to your church elders or a trusted small group.
  • Focus on the Eternal: This trial is heavy, but Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 4:17 that our “light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” Keep your eyes on Christ, the author and finisher of your faith.

May God strengthen and equip you this new year!

The Purposed Marriage Team

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Finding Biblical Steadfastness in the New Year

Purposed Marriage
A radiant cross illuminated from behind, set against a dark background, symbolizing hope and faith.

As we stand at the threshold of a new year, the world around us is buzzing with the rhetoric of “fresh starts” and “new beginnings.” For many, this is a season of resolutions and excitement. But for those of you walking the painful path of divorce, these words can feel like salt in an open wound. You may find yourself looking at the calendar with a sense of dread, wondering how you are supposed to navigate a future that looks nothing like the one you promised before God and witnesses.

Many standers have learned that the turning of a leaf on a calendar does not automatically heal the fractures of the soul. In fact, the start of a year often magnifies the very things we wish to escape: the loneliness, the financial strain, and the heavy weight of broken vows. But as we enter this season, we offer a challenge to look past the worldly advice of “moving on” and instead look upward to the One who authored your life.

The Trap of the “Clean Slate”

The world tells you that a new year is the perfect time to “leave the past behind” and “find your own happiness.” This sounds like a relief to a heart that has been battered by conflict. However, we must be careful. If our version of a “new beginning” involves hardening our hearts against the biblical mandate for reconciliation or nursing a spirit of unforgiveness, we are not moving toward healing—we are moving toward a spiritual desert and rebellion.

We often rationalize that because our spouse “broke the covenant first,” we are free to pursue a new life on our own terms. But Scripture reminds us that we serve a God of reconciliation. “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:18). This new year, ask yourself: Am I seeking God’s will for my restoration, or am I merely seeking an exit from my pain?

Facing the Giant of Loneliness

The silence of a home can feel deafening during January. The traditions that once defined your year have been stripped away, leaving an ache that feels impossible to fill. You might feel like Mary and Martha, weeping because Jesus didn’t arrive “on time” to save what was dying.

But remember the story of Lazarus. The delay that caused such grief was actually the stage for a greater miracle. If you find yourself alone this year, do not view it as God’s abandonment. View it as an invitation to intimacy. “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him” (Lamentations 3:25). Use this time not to wallow in what was lost, but to feast on the Word. The more intimate your relationship with Christ becomes, the less power the sting of loneliness will have over you.

The Danger of Living in “What If”

As the new year begins, the enemy loves to keep us trapped in the “what ifs.” What if I had done more? What if they never change? This leads to a spirit of anxiety that stifles our faith. We try to put time constraints on God, demanding that He fix our circumstances or our spouse by a certain date.

To do so is a clear demonstration of a lack of faith. We must determine this very day to cast aside our preconceived notions of what “restoration” or “healing” must look like. Acknowledge that Christ alone is the author of your story. If this year brings continued hardship, trust that He is using it to remake you into His image—an image that is pleasing in His sight. Learn to wait on God and rely on His faithfulness.

A Call to Submission

If you are entering this year in the midst of a divorce, do not be led by your emotions or the “logical” advice of friends who do not hold a Kingdom perspective. While the counsel may be coming from a heart of concern and compassion, it may very well be the complete opposite of what is Biblically sound.

Forgiveness is possible, but only if you allow God to change your heart. You must first submit to His authority and acknowledge where pride or bitterness has taken root. Whether you are “standing” for your marriage or navigating the aftermath of a final decree, your priority remains the same: Seek first the Kingdom of God.

The calendar has turned, but God’s Word remains the same. He has provided everything you need to overcome the challenges of this season. It is all right there, contained in His Holy Word. Let this be the year you stop leaning on your own understanding and start walking in total submission to the King, our Lord Jesus Christ.