Category: Marriage

Holidays

Finding Hope Amidst the Holidays: Christ, Our Constant in Divorce

Purposed Marriage
A woman sitting in a cozy chair reading a book by a warm fireplace, surrounded by Christmas decorations and gifts.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23

For many, Christmas is a season of unparalleled joy, family gatherings, and heartwarming traditions. But for you, navigating a divorce, especially during this time, the usual cheer can feel like a cruel mockery. Perhaps your home feels emptier, your traditions broken, and the pain of your dissolving marriage casts a long, dark shadow over the festive glow.

You are not alone in feeling this deep disconnect. The ache of a broken family during a season so focused on family unity can be incredibly isolating. You might be struggling to find even a flicker of the “reason for the season” when your own world feels like it’s falling apart.

But even in this profound pain, especially now, the message of Christmas remains profoundly relevant. The gift of Christ is not just for the joyful, the whole, or the untroubled. It is, perhaps most powerfully, for those who are broken, hurting, and desperately searching for a glimmer of hope.

The First Christmas: Not So Picture-Perfect

Think back to the very first Christmas. It wasn’t a perfectly polished, Instagram-ready scene. A young, pregnant woman and her bewildered fiancé, far from home, with no room at the inn. The birth of a baby in a stable, surrounded by animals. It was messy, inconvenient, and certainly not what anyone would have envisioned for the arrival of the King of Kings. Yet, in that humble, imperfect setting, God demonstrated His profound love and unwavering presence in the midst of human struggle and limitation.

Christ: Our Unchanging Gift

The greatest gift of Christmas is not wrapped in paper and tied with a bow; it is the person of Jesus Christ. He is Immanuel, “God with us.” And this “with us” isn’t conditional. He is with us in our triumphs, yes, but more profoundly, He is with us in our deepest valleys, our most agonizing heartbreaks, and our most profound disappointments.

In the midst of divorce, your life can feel like it’s been turned upside down. Relationships change, financial stability wavers, and future plans dissolve. It’s a time of immense uncertainty and loss. But Christ remains constant. He is the anchor for your soul in the storm. His love is not subject to the whims of human relationships or the breaking of vows. His grace is sufficient, even for this.

Finding Joy in the Midst of Sorrow

“Joy to the World” might feel like a distant echo right now. And that’s okay. The Bible doesn’t promise a life free from sorrow, but it does promise a God who is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). True biblical joy isn’t a superficial happiness dependent on perfect circumstances; it’s a deep-seated confidence in God’s goodness and faithfulness, even when circumstances are anything but good.

How can you find this joy amidst your pain?

  1. Lean into His Presence: Even if you can’t feel it, know that He is near. Spend time in prayer, pouring out your heart to Him. Read His Word, allowing His promises to minister to your spirit.
  2. Focus on the True Gift: Shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have in Christ. The gift of salvation, forgiveness, and eternal life is yours, regardless of your marital status. This is the ultimate “reason for the season.”
  3. Allow Yourself to Grieve: Don’t suppress your pain. God understands your sorrow. Jesus Himself wept. Give yourself permission to mourn the loss, but don’t stay stuck there. Let your grief eventually lead you to the Comforter.
  4. Seek Community: While some social gatherings might be difficult, seek out safe, supportive community – friends, family, or a church group who can offer empathy, prayer, and practical support without judgment.
  5. Serve Others: Sometimes, turning our focus outward can help us gain perspective. Even a small act of kindness or service to someone else can remind you of God’s love working through you.

This Christmas, know that your tears are seen, your pain is acknowledged, and your heart is not forgotten by God. The “reason for the season” isn’t about perfectly decorated trees or perfect family photos; it’s about the radical, unconditional love of a God who sent His Son to be with us, to save us, and to offer us enduring hope – even when our world feels like it’s crumbling.

May you find comfort in His presence and a renewed sense of hope in the unchanging gift of Christ this Christmas season.

Contentment

False Comfort in the Midst of Brokenness

Tommy Larson 
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19–21, ESV)

The conclusion of a marriage is a season of profound upheaval, marked by significant grief and the disruption of a core life covenant. As we observe this season, it is imperative for believers navigating divorce or separation to critically evaluate where they seek solace and stability.

The retail market promises immediate gratification and the illusion of control through buying what I want. Yet, from a strictly biblical perspective, this pursuit of temporal comfort—the attempt to mend internal brokenness with external, material goods—is a path of profound spiritual distraction.

A Biblical Argument Against Worldly Treasure

Our mandate, as delivered by our Lord, is to prioritize the eternal over the perishable. The Gospel narrative consistently challenges the notion that worldly possessions can satisfy the deepest needs of the soul:

For individuals experiencing the acute pain of divorce, the vulnerability to this temptation is amplified. A significant purchase might momentarily mask the sorrow, but it inevitably fails to address the root wound. Material assets are inherently transitory; they are subject to depreciation, decay, and loss. They lack the capacity to execute the work of spiritual healing or relational restoration.

The mistake lies in seeking an eternal solution—the deep peace and lasting identity found only in Christ—within a temporal framework. Shopping, spending, and accumulating goods as remedy to numb emotional pain, offering no true substantive relief.

Fulfillment in Christ

The only enduring comfort and true foundation for hope is found in the redemptive work and person of Jesus Christ. The New Testament provides a stark contrast between the fleeting world and the immovable Kingdom of God.

  • Never-ending Hope: The comfort offered by Christ is an inheritance that is reserved in heaven, described as “imperishable, undefiled, and unfading” (1 Peter 1:4). No earthly transaction can yield this kind of security.
  • Sufficiency in Weakness: In moments of brokenness and perceived failure—feelings often associated with divorce—we are directed away from self-reliance and worldly substitutes and toward the sufficiency of God’s grace. As the Apostle Paul learned, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV).
  • The Eternal Weight of Glory: We are encouraged to view our present afflictions, however devastating, through the lens of eternity. These trials are temporary and are actively preparing us for an “eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:17, ESV).

This season must be recognized not as an opportunity for material replacement, but as a critical moment for spiritual realignment. The emptiness caused by a broken covenant cannot be filled by an empty shopping cart. It can only be filled by the overwhelming, unconditional love of the Redeemer.

We are called to resist the culturally loud message of consumerism and instead cultivate contentment and peace by fixing our gaze on the only treasure that truly lasts. Our peace is not purchased; it is received through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Contentment, Faithfulness

Finding Light in the Darkest Valley: The Discipline of Gratitude

Tommy Larson
Finding Light
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Thessalonians 5:15

If you are currently navigating the fires of separation or facing the devastating finality of divorce, we must begin by acknowledging the gravity of your situation. We extend our deepest sympathies for the profound pain you are enduring.

At Purposed Marriage Ministry, we staunchly champion the sanctity of marriage. However, we also recognize the shattered reality many of you face. You are navigating a grief that is unique, complex, and exhausting. You are mourning not merely the loss of a partner, but the dissolution of a shared history and a envisioned future. When one’s world is upended, it is natural to feel abandoned, angry, and utterly adrift.

To propose the practice of gratitude amidst the wreckage of your life may seem counter-intuitive, perhaps even offensive. To speak of thankfulness while your heart is breaking feels impossible. We understand this resistance; however, it is precisely in these moments that we must reframe our understanding of what gratitude truly is.

The Misunderstanding of Gratitude

Society often positions gratitude as a reaction to good fortune. We are taught to be thankful when circumstances align with our desires, when prayers are answered favorably, and when life is tranquil.

The Biblical perspective, however, is radically different. Gratitude is not a reaction to our circumstances; it is a discipline of our faith. It serves as an anchor that holds us fast when the storm is raging. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, the Apostle Paul writes:

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

God does not ask you to give thanks for the divorce. He does not expect you to be grateful for the betrayal, the isolation, or the financial uncertainty. Rather, He invites you to offer thanks in the midst of it. Gratitude is the primary weapon we use to combat despair. It is the mechanism by which we remind our hearts that while our circumstances have shifted, the character of our God remains unchanged.

The Sacrifice of Praise

When one is in the thick of separation, gratitude is rarely an emotive response; it is a spiritual labor. The writer of Hebrews refers to this as a “sacrifice of praise” (Hebrews 13:15).

A sacrifice, by definition, implies a cost. Offering thanks to God when you are in anguish may require every ounce of spiritual fortitude you possess. It is an act of defiance against an enemy who seeks to consume you with bitterness. When your identity as a spouse, your home life, and your routines are stripped away, you are forced into a desperate, beautiful dependence on God alone. It is within this raw vulnerability that gratitude becomes a lifeline.

Practical Application: Starting Small

How does one practice gratitude while enduring such significant pain? We must start small and focus on the eternal.

  • Be Grateful for God: Your marriage may have ended, but your status as a beloved child of God remains secure. Romans 8:38-39 promises that nothing—neither angels nor demons, nor the present nor the future—can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. No court document can annul His covenant with you. Give thanks that He is the companion who will never leave nor forsake you.
  • Be Grateful for Sustaining Grace: Reflect on the fact that you have endured yesterday. Though it was painful, you are here today. As Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Thank Him for the breath in your lungs this very moment.
  • Be Grateful for the God’s Provision: When the Israelites wandered the desert, God did not provide a five-year plan; He provided manna for the day. Identify your “manna” today. Is it a supportive conversation with a friend? A moment of silence amidst the chaos? A song that realigned your perspective? Identify that singular mercy, seize it, and offer thanks.

Shifting Our Prespectives

Gratitude during divorce is not an exercise in denial. It is not about pretending that everything is well. It is about acknowledging that even when our circumstances are not good, God remains good. It is the discipline of shifting our gaze from the magnitude of our problems to the magnitude of our God.

If you are walking this lonely road, it is my prayer that you find the strength to whisper a word of thanks to Jesus—not for the pain, but for His presence within it. He is close to the brokenhearted. Lean on Him, for He is capable of bearing the weight of your grief, and He is worthy of your trust.