Category: Faithfulness

Contentment, Faithfulness

Finding Light in the Darkest Valley: The Discipline of Gratitude

Tommy Larson
Finding Light
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Thessalonians 5:15

If you are currently navigating the fires of separation or facing the devastating finality of divorce, we must begin by acknowledging the gravity of your situation. We extend our deepest sympathies for the profound pain you are enduring.

At Purposed Marriage Ministry, we staunchly champion the sanctity of marriage. However, we also recognize the shattered reality many of you face. You are navigating a grief that is unique, complex, and exhausting. You are mourning not merely the loss of a partner, but the dissolution of a shared history and a envisioned future. When one’s world is upended, it is natural to feel abandoned, angry, and utterly adrift.

To propose the practice of gratitude amidst the wreckage of your life may seem counter-intuitive, perhaps even offensive. To speak of thankfulness while your heart is breaking feels impossible. We understand this resistance; however, it is precisely in these moments that we must reframe our understanding of what gratitude truly is.

The Misunderstanding of Gratitude

Society often positions gratitude as a reaction to good fortune. We are taught to be thankful when circumstances align with our desires, when prayers are answered favorably, and when life is tranquil.

The Biblical perspective, however, is radically different. Gratitude is not a reaction to our circumstances; it is a discipline of our faith. It serves as an anchor that holds us fast when the storm is raging. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, the Apostle Paul writes:

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

God does not ask you to give thanks for the divorce. He does not expect you to be grateful for the betrayal, the isolation, or the financial uncertainty. Rather, He invites you to offer thanks in the midst of it. Gratitude is the primary weapon we use to combat despair. It is the mechanism by which we remind our hearts that while our circumstances have shifted, the character of our God remains unchanged.

The Sacrifice of Praise

When one is in the thick of separation, gratitude is rarely an emotive response; it is a spiritual labor. The writer of Hebrews refers to this as a “sacrifice of praise” (Hebrews 13:15).

A sacrifice, by definition, implies a cost. Offering thanks to God when you are in anguish may require every ounce of spiritual fortitude you possess. It is an act of defiance against an enemy who seeks to consume you with bitterness. When your identity as a spouse, your home life, and your routines are stripped away, you are forced into a desperate, beautiful dependence on God alone. It is within this raw vulnerability that gratitude becomes a lifeline.

Practical Application: Starting Small

How does one practice gratitude while enduring such significant pain? We must start small and focus on the eternal.

  • Be Grateful for God: Your marriage may have ended, but your status as a beloved child of God remains secure. Romans 8:38-39 promises that nothing—neither angels nor demons, nor the present nor the future—can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. No court document can annul His covenant with you. Give thanks that He is the companion who will never leave nor forsake you.
  • Be Grateful for Sustaining Grace: Reflect on the fact that you have endured yesterday. Though it was painful, you are here today. As Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Thank Him for the breath in your lungs this very moment.
  • Be Grateful for the God’s Provision: When the Israelites wandered the desert, God did not provide a five-year plan; He provided manna for the day. Identify your “manna” today. Is it a supportive conversation with a friend? A moment of silence amidst the chaos? A song that realigned your perspective? Identify that singular mercy, seize it, and offer thanks.

Shifting Our Prespectives

Gratitude during divorce is not an exercise in denial. It is not about pretending that everything is well. It is about acknowledging that even when our circumstances are not good, God remains good. It is the discipline of shifting our gaze from the magnitude of our problems to the magnitude of our God.

If you are walking this lonely road, it is my prayer that you find the strength to whisper a word of thanks to Jesus—not for the pain, but for His presence within it. He is close to the brokenhearted. Lean on Him, for He is capable of bearing the weight of your grief, and He is worthy of your trust.

Faithfulness, Healing and Reconciliation, love

Remember Your Witness

Purposed Marriage

You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.”

Matthew 5:13 ESV

We are living through difficult and trying times. If the current situation we are experiencing with the COVID-19 pandemic has done anything positive, perhaps one could say it has provided believers in Christ with a tremendous opportunity to show the world how and why we are different.

Turn on any news broadcast and you will see examples of panicked citizens from all over the globe letting their actions and decisions be ruled by emotions. Opportunists are attempting to exploit the situation to take advantage of the vulnerable, and even worse, some are using this ordeal as a means to push agendas and policies that at best are self serving, and at worst, downright evil. Regardless of your appraisal of the situation, you have to admit that no time in recent memory has there been a greater need for the body of Christ to set itself apart.

As it relates to the current situation with your prodigal, perhaps now is a chance for them to see a side of you that has been hidden. It could be the hurt and resentment built up as a result of their intentional acts of betrayal has overshadowed and prevented the grace and love, which flows from the Father, from also flowing from you.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35 ESV

The way we conduct ourselves in times both good and bad, shape the perceptions others have of us. If you have put your faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and have accepted Him as your personal savior, you have a witness and testimony that must never be forgotten. We are the physical hands and feet of our master while on this earth. God’s will is carried out by our actions each and every day. Either we submit and do as His word says, or we follow our own path, which likely will do little to advance the Kingdom. Your continued stand and increased show of love, grace and forgiveness, are kingdom building activities. Be constantly aware and mindful of this reality.

Call it what you will, but there exists in my heart a strong sense the Lord will be moving mightily in the hearts of many during these times. It certainly wouldn’t be without precedent. One can find countless examples from Scripture or throughout history where God brought about miraculous change, healing, and deliverance in the most desperate of circumstances. The stage has been set for similar events to occur. Are you ready, willing and able to take part? The world and our prodigals need our action. May we all look to Jesus as we seek to fulfill this mission.

Faithfulness, Healing and Reconciliation, Holidays

New Year, New Resolve

Tommy Larson

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV

Every new year brings with it a sense of fresh starts, renewed commitments and strengthened resolve. Depending on who you are listening to, the target of these resolutions may tend to focus on the external. Whether it’s shedding a few pounds, reading more, learning a new skill, or simply stepping out of our comfort zones and trying something new, the arrival of January 1st marks the point when many will begin their new journey. Unfortunately, this is also a time when many marriages hanging on by a thread get pushed to their limits and one or both parties decide it’s time to call it quits.

Making it through the holidays is challenging enough on its own. Normal holiday stressors, along with knowing what your spouse may be planning for the new year and doing everything within your power to prevent it from coming to pass, puts us in situations that are extremely challenging and difficult. Reflecting back, I remember the first Christmas apart from my wife saw me spend considerable time praying God would do a work in her heart and that the new year would bring healing and reconciliation. Surprisingly, there were more than a couple moments during the holiday season I actually sensed this may have been coming to pass. But unfortunately, those moments were short lived. Despite seeing what appeared to be real signs of promise in both word and deed, my prodigal eventually returned to the flesh and continued to willingly travel the road that led to destruction. Cleary, God had more work to do.

For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.

Matthew 7:12 ESV

Now more than ever, the question we need to ask ourselves is if we are truly committed to standing for our marriage despite what we may see or know is coming over the horizon. An ungodly worldview void of biblical and eternal perspectives will tell you happiness and fulfillment is within your reach if you just let go of the past and move forward. We are told some marriages just don’t work out, and it’s better to leave an unhappy marriage, than to stay in a relationship where your emotional needs aren’t being met. Of course, this type of advice sounds great to the person who is hurting and has perhaps endured years of mistreatment and neglect. After all, don’t we all deserve to be happy and to not have to live in an environment where we find ourselves anxious, on edge, and unfulfilled? Biblically speaking, the answer is, no. In truth, what each of us deserves is an eternity in hell. Fortunately for us, because of the Father’s mercy and grace, we are promised an eternity with Him in glory, if we put our faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Let this truth sink in and penetrate your soul the next time your heart turns and begins to long for what friends, family and those without a godly perspective say you deserve.

If you are in this stand for the long haul, let this new year mark the starting point for a renewed and strengthened resolve that will reject worldly counsel, and instead cling to the cross of Christ and his promise of hope and fulfillment. Your prodigal needs you now more than ever. It could very well be that God has the enemy on the ropes. Do you have the endurance required to finish the fight and end the battle? Are you going to give up on your spouse, your children and perhaps future generations because you are tired and weary? Purpose now to stand strong and believe in your heart that God is not done with you or your marriage. 2020 could very well be the year God has ordained for restoration to occur!

In Christ,

Tommy Larson