Author: Purposed Marriage

Based in Knoxville, Tennessee, Purposed Marriage is a Christian-based community dedicated to husbands and wives finding themselves in troubled or broken marriages. Our goal is to unite the hurting and offer Biblical hope and encouragement. Our message is simple: God can and does heal even when all hope seems lost. Email: purposedmarriage@gmail.com
Holidays

Finding Hope Amidst the Holidays: Christ, Our Constant in Divorce

Purposed Marriage
A woman sitting in a cozy chair reading a book by a warm fireplace, surrounded by Christmas decorations and gifts.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23

For many, Christmas is a season of unparalleled joy, family gatherings, and heartwarming traditions. But for you, navigating a divorce, especially during this time, the usual cheer can feel like a cruel mockery. Perhaps your home feels emptier, your traditions broken, and the pain of your dissolving marriage casts a long, dark shadow over the festive glow.

You are not alone in feeling this deep disconnect. The ache of a broken family during a season so focused on family unity can be incredibly isolating. You might be struggling to find even a flicker of the “reason for the season” when your own world feels like it’s falling apart.

But even in this profound pain, especially now, the message of Christmas remains profoundly relevant. The gift of Christ is not just for the joyful, the whole, or the untroubled. It is, perhaps most powerfully, for those who are broken, hurting, and desperately searching for a glimmer of hope.

The First Christmas: Not So Picture-Perfect

Think back to the very first Christmas. It wasn’t a perfectly polished, Instagram-ready scene. A young, pregnant woman and her bewildered fiancé, far from home, with no room at the inn. The birth of a baby in a stable, surrounded by animals. It was messy, inconvenient, and certainly not what anyone would have envisioned for the arrival of the King of Kings. Yet, in that humble, imperfect setting, God demonstrated His profound love and unwavering presence in the midst of human struggle and limitation.

Christ: Our Unchanging Gift

The greatest gift of Christmas is not wrapped in paper and tied with a bow; it is the person of Jesus Christ. He is Immanuel, “God with us.” And this “with us” isn’t conditional. He is with us in our triumphs, yes, but more profoundly, He is with us in our deepest valleys, our most agonizing heartbreaks, and our most profound disappointments.

In the midst of divorce, your life can feel like it’s been turned upside down. Relationships change, financial stability wavers, and future plans dissolve. It’s a time of immense uncertainty and loss. But Christ remains constant. He is the anchor for your soul in the storm. His love is not subject to the whims of human relationships or the breaking of vows. His grace is sufficient, even for this.

Finding Joy in the Midst of Sorrow

“Joy to the World” might feel like a distant echo right now. And that’s okay. The Bible doesn’t promise a life free from sorrow, but it does promise a God who is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). True biblical joy isn’t a superficial happiness dependent on perfect circumstances; it’s a deep-seated confidence in God’s goodness and faithfulness, even when circumstances are anything but good.

How can you find this joy amidst your pain?

  1. Lean into His Presence: Even if you can’t feel it, know that He is near. Spend time in prayer, pouring out your heart to Him. Read His Word, allowing His promises to minister to your spirit.
  2. Focus on the True Gift: Shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have in Christ. The gift of salvation, forgiveness, and eternal life is yours, regardless of your marital status. This is the ultimate “reason for the season.”
  3. Allow Yourself to Grieve: Don’t suppress your pain. God understands your sorrow. Jesus Himself wept. Give yourself permission to mourn the loss, but don’t stay stuck there. Let your grief eventually lead you to the Comforter.
  4. Seek Community: While some social gatherings might be difficult, seek out safe, supportive community – friends, family, or a church group who can offer empathy, prayer, and practical support without judgment.
  5. Serve Others: Sometimes, turning our focus outward can help us gain perspective. Even a small act of kindness or service to someone else can remind you of God’s love working through you.

This Christmas, know that your tears are seen, your pain is acknowledged, and your heart is not forgotten by God. The “reason for the season” isn’t about perfectly decorated trees or perfect family photos; it’s about the radical, unconditional love of a God who sent His Son to be with us, to save us, and to offer us enduring hope – even when our world feels like it’s crumbling.

May you find comfort in His presence and a renewed sense of hope in the unchanging gift of Christ this Christmas season.

Uncategorized

Standing and Suffering

Purposed Marriage

The worldwide pandemic we are currently experiencing has been the cause of much stress and hardship for many families. Husbands and wives in troubled marriages will likely tell you the federal, state, and local directives regarding stay at home orders have served to heighten and exacerbate the already existing tensions found in their broken homes. For some, the increased conflict and friction has instilled a strong resolve to abandon the marriage covenant, and pursue a path that leads to liberation and greater personal happiness. But is a path that embraces divorce one that Bible believing Christians should willingly chase after? The answer to this question, and so many others can be found in Scripture. All we need to do is be open to what God’s Word is plainly telling us.

Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

Hebrews 19:4-6 ESV

When Jesus told the hypocritical Pharisees that God joined husbands and wives together, He did not suggest marriages stay intact only for as long as things were working. Nor did He offer a way out of the marriage covenant if one or both spouses felt happiness and fulfillment was no longer in reach. On the contrary, our Lord declared separation should not occur. In other words, don’t do it. 

Through the years however, society and culture has gone to great lengths to minimize and marginalize the importance of holding true to one’s marriage vows. Unfortunately, much of this way of thinking has crept into our churches. No fault divorces are not all that uncommon among professing Christians, and attitudes concerning marriage and divorce have become almost identical to those held by non-believers and secular society.

But if your heart truly yearns to be in line with God’s will, and you desire to honor the Lord and bring glory to His name, even in the midst of the volatile storm that may now define your marriage, I strongly urge you to focus your eyes upon Jesus, and to follow the example He demonstrated while ministering here on this earth. Christ never abandoned his bride. Up until his dying breath, He was forgiving and loving. Despite our rebellious, stubborn, and sinful behavior, He always remains right there, never leaving or forsaking us. This is the example we are called to follow.

For many years, I lived the life of a Christian husband and father in name only. I chased after worldly pleasures to satisfy my own flesh. In the end, the environment this behavior cultivated in my own home, led to the destruction of my marriage. Unbeknownst to me at the time of my separation and divorce, God was working to remake me into His image. This also was the case for my precious wife. For us, the tribulation and destruction the Lord allowed to be brought into our lives, became a way to direct our hearts, minds and souls back to Himself. In His perfect timing, true reconciliation and restoration of our marriage occurred. Praise be to God for the discipline He exerts over His children! Although we may not like it at the time, it is for our own good and benefit that the refining fires of correction are brought upon us. 

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11 ESV

God indeed works in wondrous ways, but the lesson we should all learn as it relates to suffering, is in the tremendous opportunity it presents for transformational growth to occur. When these storms come, do not seek to pin blame on others, or wallow in self pity. Instead, allow the Holy Spirit to convict your soul and bring your thoughts and desires back into alignment with God’s will, rather than your own.

You may be one of those individuals who is now struggling with your marriage. Perhaps your spouse has left, or you are in the beginning stages of the divorce process. In either case, as someone who experienced the miracle of marriage restoration, I can say without a doubt, no circumstance or situation is too difficult for God. The key for believers is to trust in faith and wait for the Lord to do what only He can. Humble yourself and submit to His will daily. Lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge His Word, and you will be guided alongside the path that brings honor and glory to Him. 

The Lord has a special plan for you, your family, and your marriage. Rather than allowing our present circumstances to shape and determine where our relationships lead, take charge through the empowering of the Holy Spirit and allow transformational change and godliness to chart your course as you head into these turbulent waters.

May God Bless.

Tommy Larson
Purposed Marriage

Faithfulness, Healing and Reconciliation, love

Remember Your Witness

Purposed Marriage

You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.”

Matthew 5:13 ESV

We are living through difficult and trying times. If the current situation we are experiencing with the COVID-19 pandemic has done anything positive, perhaps one could say it has provided believers in Christ with a tremendous opportunity to show the world how and why we are different.

Turn on any news broadcast and you will see examples of panicked citizens from all over the globe letting their actions and decisions be ruled by emotions. Opportunists are attempting to exploit the situation to take advantage of the vulnerable, and even worse, some are using this ordeal as a means to push agendas and policies that at best are self serving, and at worst, downright evil. Regardless of your appraisal of the situation, you have to admit that no time in recent memory has there been a greater need for the body of Christ to set itself apart.

As it relates to the current situation with your prodigal, perhaps now is a chance for them to see a side of you that has been hidden. It could be the hurt and resentment built up as a result of their intentional acts of betrayal has overshadowed and prevented the grace and love, which flows from the Father, from also flowing from you.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35 ESV

The way we conduct ourselves in times both good and bad, shape the perceptions others have of us. If you have put your faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and have accepted Him as your personal savior, you have a witness and testimony that must never be forgotten. We are the physical hands and feet of our master while on this earth. God’s will is carried out by our actions each and every day. Either we submit and do as His word says, or we follow our own path, which likely will do little to advance the Kingdom. Your continued stand and increased show of love, grace and forgiveness, are kingdom building activities. Be constantly aware and mindful of this reality.

Call it what you will, but there exists in my heart a strong sense the Lord will be moving mightily in the hearts of many during these times. It certainly wouldn’t be without precedent. One can find countless examples from Scripture or throughout history where God brought about miraculous change, healing, and deliverance in the most desperate of circumstances. The stage has been set for similar events to occur. Are you ready, willing and able to take part? The world and our prodigals need our action. May we all look to Jesus as we seek to fulfill this mission.